What My Story Does For Me

What does your story do for you? Mine shows me why the only sensible thing to do is to move forward. There've been countless instances I've been called upon to affirm what is important to me. Countless times I've been tested to prove that I prefer and  am ready for the big Picture and  that I'm  unwilling to call it quit at the face of obstacles.

Needed money to register for WAEC. So I had to assist bricklayers, work in palm oil processing mill, and wash gravels in construction sites,  to support mom in raising that money. Although I contracted Pneumonia in the process, the  real cost to me was failing to pass mathematics in that exam. I made F9 in maths and that was horrible. It made me feel suicidal. But calling it quit  wasn't my kind of thing.

So, I went back to High school instead of graduating from it. went back to learning with my juniors--  new classmates. And when the second WAEC result came out, it was a B3 in mathematics.

Then came the reality of life in college. Having so many bills to pay and always insufficient balance to cover formal dues not to talk of feeding and upkeep allowance. There was really nothing like feeding/ upkeep allowance for me. The thing is, there were so many things that stood on the way and made it look like life would have been easier if dad hadn't gone to the unknown 'beyond' before I  turned 3. But as fine as it were to entertain such, I had a prevalent existential reality-- pay for what needs to be paid for, or drop out. I went for the former. Joined a trade guild on part-time, started a footwear trading business, mended foot wears, sold books and hand-outs, tried out a few other odd jobs, as many as still afforded me the flexibility to continue to study hard. 

The stakes was high. I set it so high. My financial challenges were never to be the reason I'll fail again. I knew I've invested so much sweat and tears and  and hard earned money. If I don't make it, I don't know how I was going to convince myself that I tried my best. Besides, I needed a good Diploma to clinch an automatic admission for a Bachelor program. So I opted for the top spot. And at the end of the Diploma program, I bagged Distinction. Was the only male who made distinction. That was after getting the recognition as the Best Business mathematics Student a year prior my completing the diploma course. I had made 92% in maths and that was the highest score.

Things didn't get easier when I got automatic admission into my bachelor course of study-- accountancy. I only got used to doing what I knew I needed to do-- working part-time and running my flexible sales business to raise money and support my moms effort in addition to studying well. And it gets really nasty when you've got some persons who just want to hurt you because they don't understand you; because you're different and not because you did anything particularly wrong. That happened to me  some where in my 300L. 

The lecturer came to the  class and asked "Who's Kalu Kalu Ndukwe?". I sat still. I wasn't the type that liked publicity. I knew I have done nothing wrong except that I have taken four courses offered by that lecturer  previously and I made 'hyper'  A's in all the four courses. When all eyes stayed still in the far hidden corner  that I was sitting on , I sat up and responded that I am Kalu. " I have a question for you." he said  "You've done well in my subjects. Now let's see why". He added joined with  a question relating to the topic we were learning that day. I didn't have the answer. I kept quiet just not to say some silly thing and he won't take it. And that was it. That was my offence. That semester, the result came out and for the first time, he came to the class to announce it and when it got tom my turn, it went like: "Kalu Kalu Ndukwe "E" as in E--for Elephant". 

I knew what that meant. After working very hard, studying to pass well, , working and running a side hustle to raise money and still making A's and the least grade I ever made was a B, after going all in to make that to happen, because it mattered to me, I knew or at least, I thought I knew what an "E" meant to my academic profile. Later realities showed I didn't quite get it. The trauma went down, so down that that semester the result was announced and the next marked my worst days in the university. Moved from the top a spot down to C. And it became clear that wasn't the end when we sat for the man's final course. After checking in properly into the exam hall, I sat  on the first row of the first bench and I was the ONLY student sitting on that sit alone. other students took a sit behind. This same man came in to the hall found me on the sit alone , came straight to me and said "stand up . i just have to make sure you're not having with you things that you intend to use to cheat". I stood. he searched all over my body--pockets, butt, front-side every where, that was after I've already been checked in by invigilators, took out my wallet and was like what's this. That's my wallet sir. i responded. he opened it. Nothing was found inside, not even money, then he handed it back. But that of course was after making sure that I have been thoroughly destabilized for that exam. That terror wasn't my mental health and my academic performance. 

The spill over ended in the second semester of my  final year. By then, I was so sure that the only lecturers that I'll meet were those who I know that they are not after my pound of flesh. So I picked back up. Made straight A's in all the courses for that semester, including an A on my research work. that's 5.0/5.0. But the did had been done and it couldn't be reversed. I was the Best graduating student of my set but with the near  First Class miss 4.49.5.0 GPA. I needed just one point to reach 4.5, the starting point for First class in the 5.0 grading system. I had to live with that reality, often crying all night until there was no tears left to shed. I failed to reach my goal. But that is only a part of the whole story-- my story. 

A year later, I was invited to accept the award of The Best Graduating Student, That invitation  awakened in full  the entire memory I's working  hard to forget. I know myself. I know what i believe in. Right were I was in Jigawa when i got that call, I was fully involved in what I believed in-- working hard on my role and community development. Then traveling over 500 miles to receive an award that makes me feel sad every time I think of the whole matter that led to it, required money. I was saving the little I had for the future and had none for the expensive journey and to pay for all that needed to be paid for, for me to fully participate in the convocation. so i had a clear choice. and I turned  down the invitation and focused on the tasks I had at hand-- completing the various community development and social campaigns I was leading at that time. 

I felt pleased when I received a message from the governor of Jigawa state that I was to be in government House Dutse for an official ceremony being hosted for corps members who have  distinguished themselves during their service year in that state.  On 16th April 2016, I bagged the Honour's Award For Exemplary Service { Or Governor's Award}. 

I wanted to teach.  So after NYSC,  I went to my HOD  and offered to volunteer in my former undergraduate department. That was rejected. I took up teaching in a high school, then moved to  AIICO, then became homeless a year later when the relations I's staying with needed some space. That was when it became clear I had a job that I don't need, a job that can't take care of my most basic needs and I  needed another one fast. I found one, a more flexible one and added side hustle-- a fashion business back to my career portfolio.  The reality of this period for me was sleeping on the floor  in various places i could find some space to sleep in, while leaving my personal belongings safely in the hands of few relations. By November 2018, I finally rented my own apartment-- a room and a parlour and I got married on January 10th 2019.

Life can sometimes prove pretty lonely. I know it. I am a proof of it. when you have only YOU  to cheer you up and so many things out there that want to take you down, What should  you do? What are you going to do. Things wasn't funny when the presidential award of 2016 was cancelled. I needed it. That was my aim. I needed that scholarship that come with it, etc. Then the government of Jigawa failed to fulfil the cash price that Awardees were promised during the Governor's Award presentation ceremony. meeting my HOD and getting my offer to volunteer turned down meant that all the strategy I had put together had been destroyed. Accept defeat and go hide in shame for the rest of my life-- because apparently it looked as if nothing was making sense as expected? I took  all my savings  and invested it into a master degree program in 2016, in my former undergraduate department to be able to clinch that teaching role. the programme was billed to last for 18 months. After three successive ASSU strikes, I wrote my final exam in 2018. But more strikes  and bureaucracy made it the poorest choice I have ever made. Five years later, is 2021, nobody has been able to graduate from that so caled 18 months programme. and it is not like I needed it anymore. I'm a fighter and i fight to win. I've outlived the the goal for which I needed that particular degree in that area of study I chose. 

I moved on with my career, building a flexible side hustle along the way. And my latest project-- Smatkaria is already helping  recent graduates and professionals to solve real problems they face in their career  that I'm really all into it. Started it May, at the heat of the global COVID-19 pandemic. Presently over 123 professionals have found their dream jobs through Smatkaria and are thriving.

Finding the next thing to do in other to move forward and often succeeding in starting and running a side hustle has remained key to what I am. And  for me presently, the best is yet to come. I look at my two little kids, daughter (2) and son(0.5) and I get my motivation to carry on. to win is my heartbeat all the time.  Being able to support   hundreds of professionals and the prospect of assisting countless more for several years to come through Smatkaria is one of the reasons I  haven't lost what defines me-- passion and hardwork. My story shows me that I'm am really in the right direction and that i have been making progress. I teaches me not to give up. It shows me what I've done well and areas i need to improve on. I answered my calling to live and to fight and to win. That's who I am. and that's what my story teaches me.